Means To An End
by Socket-58
Summary: Roslin makes a life-altering decision that leaves Apollo reeling.


Coding: Laura Roslin/Lee Adama, Adama, Billy

Spoilers: Bastille Day

Disclaimer: BSG belongs to Ronald D. Moore and Universal Studios. I own my imagination and quite a few CD's, other than that – it's really not worth suing me.

**Means To An End**

It's two months until the elections and at a political rally that is being broadcast live to the entire fleet, Roslin stands on a podium looking out at her audience. As the opening applause dies down, she glances over at Billy who gives her a reassuring nod, and then she begins. Laura sees the fallen faces of her cabinet ministers, sees the stir of hope in her opponents and the look of shock on everyone else as she announces that she won't be seeking a second term.

The whispers begin immediately and speculation erupts through the room. Laura does her best to look calm and collected as she is bombarded with questions. No, it had never been her intention to run for re-election once President Adar's term ended. No, she hadn't felt it was appropriate to make it public sooner. Yes, she had been in consultation with others on the matter. No, she can't divulge that sort of information – it's for personal reasons. No, that's not relevant to why she's stepping-down. Yes, that had been a consideration…

People are shouting out, questions are overlapping, camera lights flash and the room starts to swim… Roslin feels like she's suffocating, her throat is raw and her temples are pounding, she catches Lee's eye and instinctively he gets to his feet.

Apollo makes his way onto the podium and stands beside Laura. He holds up his hands to silence the room. "Everyone, the President will be glad to answer more questions tomorrow."

"Thank you," she whispers as he takes hold of her elbow and they descend the podium stairs.

They walk towards the door of the conference room, where Billy is waiting. The young aide holds the door open for them and makes sure no one is in pursuit as they exit. Once in the corridor, Roslin and Lee walk briskly to the room they had been using before the rally. Apollo guides her inside and closes the door, Laura leans against one of the desktops, feeling winded with the enormity of what she's just done.

"With all due respect, Ma'am - " Lee says in a gentle voice. "Won't you reconsider? I know that your condition… but the treatment seems to be working."

"For now," she points out.

"Yes – but now is all any of us have! You want to talk facts - there is no suitable civilian Presidential replacement - you're the only one the people trust!"

"And when they find out that I have cancer and lied about it, they're really going to trust me, aren't they?"

"You've seen the electorate polls – you're light-years ahead of anyone else!" he argues. "I'm sure if we explained… if we told them why you withheld - "

She shakes her head resolutely. "I undertook the position of President out of duty, Captain Apollo – but now we have a stable government and the people need to elect a new leader that can carry them into the future," she says, and she doesn't want to admit to him that part of her is relieved to be stepping-down, that she doesn't want all this responsibility.

"Don't leave," he implores.

And it's only two words but they break her heart. "I have to," Laura replies.

Lee stares at her because he knew this day was coming but he wasn't quite ready for it. "What will you do? I mean – with the rest of…?"

"I don't know…" Roslin declares. "Maybe go back to teaching."

"Teaching?"

"I was good," she assures him and Lee smiles. "That's better," she says, her eyes full of warmth.

"It's just that I…" he looks lost.

"You…?" she tilts her head questioningly to one side.

"I worry about you," Apollo confesses.

Roslin smiles, touched by his sentiment. "I'm going to be fine," she says with more confidence than she feels.

He looks away from her because he wants to believe that's the truth. Laura reaches out and touches his arm; he raises his eyes to meet hers.

"You know, when I'm no longer President - you can always come and visit me, check that I'm still in one piece!" she tells him, then adds good-humouredly. "If you're not too busy saving the world!"

Lee grins. "I will," he promises. They hold each other's gaze and Lee is about to say something more when Billy enters the room.

"I've organised a press conference for tomorrow, for you to give more in-depth answers," the aide tells Roslin.

She nods and then looks at Apollo. "We'd better get on," she says and they both follow Billy out of the room.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It's been two weeks since they've seen each other, since Lee helped her pack her things on Colonial One. Now he's standing outside the door of her new home and he's inexplicably nervous: this has been their longest separation since the Cylon attacks began and he's worried it may have changed something between them… something irrevocable.

"Hi," Apollo greets when Roslin answers the door.

Laura smiles. "Hey, you made it!" she kisses his cheek and then steps aside to let him in.

When he enters her room, he's surrounded by sparkling surfaces and perfectly fluffed cushions. "Lords, this place is immaculate!"

Roslin closes the door after him and looks uncomfortable. "I had some spare time…" she explains.

Lee looks unconvinced, he knows she must be nervous about the Education Minister select committee - she's been short-listed for the post and the newly sworn-in President is due to make his final decision any day; she's obviously been cleaning to work-off her anxiety.

"Would you like a coffee?" Roslin offers.

"If it's not too much trouble," he replies.

"For you, Captain Apollo – it would be a pleasure!"

Lee moves beside her as she sets about making the coffee; she seems possessed with a nervous energy. "You okay?" he asks.

Roslin smiles despite herself, she's feeling a little jumpy because she's nervous about the Education Minister job and because she hasn't seen Apollo for so long... and this confusion of feeling where Lee's concerned is nothing new, but now they have no professional boundaries and Laura finds that a little scary.

"Yes. Good! I'm good. I might have a new job… well – my old job… and my prognosis has improved - the doctor thinks it's because I'm under less stress!"

"That's great!" he exclaims, and there's something about her voice, something piercing because whenever Lee hears it, it makes him weak and as he watches her, he knows he's in trouble because all he can think of is her chameleon eyes and the graceful movement of her hands as she speaks…

Laura grins. "How are things at CAG?" she asks.

"Good," he replies.

They both nod and then there's a long pause as they suddenly feel stumped for conversation.

"Good," she says and smiles, but she feels awkward – ungainly, and there's no distraction – no business they need to attend to, no one about to burst in with a new crisis. It's just them… and suddenly everything feels out of place. The lights are too dim, her clothes feel too tight, the timbre of her voice is too soft…

She's gazing at him in a way that he doesn't recognise and his breath catches at the intensity of her eyes. Lost in the intimacy of the moment, Lee finds himself saying. "I miss you."

"And here's me thinking you were getting tired of saving my ass all the time!" she jokes, trying to break the spell.

"It was a full-time occupation, but it had its perks!" he teases.

She laughs and leans across him to reach the coffee cups, as she does so, her fingertips accidentally graze his bare arm and a spark passes between them. She draws back, as if burned and catches his eye - sees the longing and she feels disarmed.

"What are you thinking?" she asks, compelled.

"I'm thinking of you," he says softly. "I'm always thinking of you…"

Lee reaches out and puts his hands around her waist, gently pulling her towards him. Laura feels her body react instinctively to his touch; she has never felt this for anyone else. Her weakness for Lee is under everything she says and does, but she'd never dared hope the feeling might be returned.

She makes no attempt to resist and so Lee draws her into a fervent kiss. Laura holds onto him tightly and after a few moments, they pull apart, breathless.

"Is this okay?" he asks.

Roslin nods, she slips her arms around his neck and kisses him a second time, Lee runs his hands up her back and they surrender to their desire.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It's the early hours and Apollo lies awake in her bed; Laura's curled-up next to him, asleep. She is his reason now; she's his map in this unfamiliar land and he wonders why it feels so natural to have her in his arms, why she's embedded quite so deeply in his subconscious. Waking, sleeping, her image, her touch, her scent – it surrounds him, envelopes him.

He kisses the top of her head and Laura stirs, snuggling closer to him; afraid he will disappear if she doesn't hold tightly enough. She feels herself slipping back into sleep and wants to fight the urge, wants to stay with Lee because this haven they've created feels evanescent.

"Don't leave…" she whispers, hazy with slumber.

"I'm not going anywhere," he vows, his fingertips making circles across her back.

Lee closes his eyes and thinks of all the people he's let down, hurt, disappointed… and then he concentrates on Laura and the mist of guilt surrounding him clears. He's spent his life waiting to be sure of something and he's certain he loves Laura, certain she's the only one to bring out the best in him. He doesn't have to be something else for her; just himself and until now, he never knew what that was.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After a further week of indecision, the President calls Roslin to tell her the good news – she's been appointed as the new Education Minister. Delighted, Laura is trying on her suits, endeavouring to pick one for her first day when there's a knock at the door. She opens it to a stern looking William Adama.

"Commander, to what do I owe this pleasure?" she asks, opening the door so he can pass.

Adama strides into the room. "I'll get straight to the matter, if you don't mind Madame Pres – uh… Ms. Roslin," he says candidly.

Laura closes the door and indicates for him to have a seat. She's wearing her burgundy suit and it feels like the old days… just for a moment. They sit opposite each other.

"I'd rather you didn't date my son," Adama states, a little more forcefully than he had intended.

"He's an adult, Commander. He chooses who he sees and who he doesn't," Roslin answers.

He stares accusingly at her. "But you have a hold over him, he feels indebted to you… I think you're clouding his judgement, it's not healthy – for either of you."

"Not healthy?" Laura repeats and she almost finds that amusing. Her body is slowly crumbling and he tells her it's her outlook that's unhealthy! "I understand your concerns, Commander Adama - " she begins.

"Oh you do? That's gracious of you - " he interrupts, annoyed by her calmness.

Roslin presses on. "It's only natural, but I think you'll also find that any relationship between Captain Apollo and myself is between us alone."

A resolute silence settles between them and her gaze is unfaltering.

"I see," Adama says grimly and stands, uncomfortable with the thought that he had once viewed her as a prospective partner for himself… "If you won't listen to sense, maybe Lee will. I'm sorry to have wasted your time. Goodbye, Ms Roslin," and he crosses to the door and exits her room.

In the corridor, the Commander walks quickly to escape his own thoughts because he wants to approve of Lee's relationship with her, but she's a teacher who had never read 'Dark Day' by Edward Primer. She's a civilian and doesn't understand the Military way of life. She's older than Lee and can't give him children - and something else keeps gnawing at him… he hates that she gets Lee, that while he exerts great effort in any exchange with his son – she's the one Lee confides in so readily…

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Apollo removes his helmet and steps out of the viper; he turns to see Adama standing by the aircraft and smiles uneasily at him.

"You're needed in CIC," Adama says softly.

"Now?" the pilot asks, surprised that his father has chosen to deliver the message personally.

The Commander nods and Lee moves beside his father as they head out of the hanger deck and into the corridor.

"I've been meaning to talk to you, son. There are some rumours… I don't usually pay mind to such things, but - "

"About myself and Laura?" Lee guesses, and in all his days, William Adama has been separate from him so he doesn't know how to react when his father takes an interest in his life.

"I've already spoken to Roslin."

Apollo looks at the Commander in alarm. "What did you say to her?"

Adama looks uncomfortable; expressing emotion wasn't his strong suit. "That I'd rather she didn't encourage any attachment you might have - "

"With all due respect, Sir – who I see is my decision to make and I choose Laura. I only hope that you won't hold it against me indefinitely."

Adama shrugs, looking ill at ease with the whole subject. "I can't say I understand what you and Roslin… why you…" then he thinks of that day on _Galactica_ when he held Lee in his arms, overwhelmed with relief that the young pilot was still alive, and shakes his head with disappointment. "Pursuing a relationship with Laura Roslin is a mistake - why do you want to punish yourself further? Do you realise what you'll be giving up? She can't have children… she's not - "

"She's who I love," Apollo interrupts.

Adama barely refrains a laugh. "Love? You hardly know her!"

"I've 'known' you my entire life but we're strangers. Since when did the measure of time dictate the extent of our feelings?"

This quietens Adama. "I see. Just like her. Obstinate! A perfect match."

Lee takes a breath, this is not how he wanted it to go. Despite everything, Adama is his father and that tie will always connect them. "I hope that one day, even if you don't understand it, you'll accept it… accept us," Apollo says sincerely.

Adama doesn't respond and they continue to walk in silence.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When Lee finishes his night shift, he goes straight to Roslin's quarters. He sits on the bed beside her and watches her sleep. He's aware of the pitfalls the future may hold for them, but she has possession of him now. Every wish, every inclination, every thought and feeling is tied-up with her and he's happy, for the first time, truly happy.

He reaches out and gently traces the ridge of her nose, she awakens and smiles sleepily at him.

"Morning," he says softly.

Laura rubs her eyes with the back of her hands and stretches. "What time is it?" she asks.

"Half five," he says and puts an arm around her waist, pulling her to him. "Plenty of time…"

"You're confident!" she laughs. In response, Apollo tickles her and she giggles uncontrollably. "No! Lee! Get off!"

He stops and leans over Roslin's slender frame, gazing adoringly into her eyes. Then he thinks of Adama and his expression darkens.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"My father spoke to me last night," he explains. "Told me what a mistake we were making…"

"I'm sorry," Laura says, sitting up and Lee loves these moments – seeing her this way, unrestricted by intrusions from the outside world.

"For what? For making me happy? I told him you were my choice, you always will be."

"I'm a little scared," Roslin admits, she feels guilty knowing he's the one making all the compromises.

"Of what?" Lee asks.

"Not being everything you thought I would be… of disappointing you."

"You could never disappoint me," Apollo says and takes her hands in his. "No more doubts, okay? No more listening to other people. From now on – you and me, that's all that counts."

"Agreed," she says and leans forward, kissing him tenderly. Apollo releases her hands and she tugs at the zip of his flight suit.

"Don't you have a job to go to?" Lee reminds her.

Roslin grins. "Yes, but I've plenty of time…" she kisses him again and Lee presses her back against the mattress.

The End


End file.
